24 days to go!

 I started the year crying in bed because I was left for no reason by the Pilot. Joined Bumble, met Cookie King. Too much of sweet is bad for your health and he proved that right. Human took me out on a date and I wanted to have a good V Day with him, but I never learn. Human = Disappointing me always since the first day we met! Same night I met SS. SS was a good guy. We dated for a week and then I realised he was fucked up. Good fucked up, but still. 

By March I was a mess again. My job sucked. I had no contract, 0 money, sexually harassed at my workplace, single. I was literally at my worst back then. That's when DD came along. It has been the craziest of all journeys of my life. Happy, sad, ecstatic, crazy, stupid, powerful, dynamic, real, authentic. But that ended too. We are still great friends who will always care about each other and be there for each other. But other than that, there was not much to us. 

My year will be ending with AG92. Here's hoping. My new year will be starting with AG92. Too scared to be happy. Too scared to be hopeful. But amidst all the horrible things in the world like - my job, my low salary, my cold and cough, AQI of over 400, just  the thought of having someone to kiss at midnight on NYE is beautiful. I don't know what will happen in future. But my present finally feels like a gift. 

I lost my best friend to ego this year. But other than that, I didn't lose much. I have a few good friends who care a lot about me. Maybe more than I care about them. I have a few good exes. I have the thought of AG92 coming to see me soon 💗. Life is good 

Love (fingers crossed),

Aaliyah

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I have a BLOG!!!!!! Finally ;)

Well for those of you who don't know what is Meena Kumari complex,let me shed a little light on it.   Meena Kumari   was an Indian movie actress and a poetess. She is regarded as one of the most prominent actresses to have appeared on the screens of Hindi Cinema.She did many grief stricken and tragic roles. Media referred to her as "The Tragedy Queen".My mom knows so much about her,even Wikipedia would fail in front of her ;) (But she doesn't know for a fact that her daughter is suffering from a complex so complicated ;) )  Meena Kumari Complex is a case where a person loves to obsess about their problems.Where each problem seems so big that the fact that a solution might even exist seems unbelievable.So much so that these problems become our friends.The problems which might seem to be non existent for others seem as important as the Board Examinations.This is followed by a series of long chats with the people we confide in,lots and lots of guilt free indulge...
Read more

What would you do?

For the past two days, at least 3 people have reached out to me to join my school's alumni Whatsapp group. Just the thought of saying hi to those people again is so terrifying. Most of them were bullies, and I have mentioned this in one of my previous blogs. Why would I ever want to talk to them and give them another chance to mock me?  Trust me, if you think that people change, they don't! Some traits continue to remain the same. There is one more thing. I don't feel accomplished enough to join the group. I am just a PhD research scholar in a UK university. I am nothing fancy. I am the opposite of fancy.  I maintain a low profile. Most days I want to be invisible. Scratch that. I always want to be invisible. I am glad my husband is more confident than I am. We are a good balance of energies.  My husband had it easier in life. He was always good looking. But I am glad he was a good guy (at least according to his version) and did not bully others. So maybe for him, joining...
Read more

My Insta Moment of Clarity!

Instagram can make things really awkward without even realising. I am on my Birthday Trip and we are in Lake District. We will begin exploring the lakes and the towns tomorrow. I have a habit of staying up till at least 1 am. My husband is fast asleep though. Got bored, so I began scrolling on Insta. Lo and behold, it decided to show me a reel of my first boyfriend's now ex-girlfriend. She is a travel blogger and is excellent at her job. I remember back in 2015, all I could do was be so jealous of her. When he told me that he had met someone and was dumping me, all I could do was compare, compare and compare. The comparison had become so toxic at a point that I felt that I had started losing myself.  And today, as I am on my way to turn 32, I checked her profile and I was indifferent. Her followers rose from 5k to 83k in the last few years and I like her content. I never thought I'd ever be mature enough to say this but I really don't care anymore.  I have a gorgeous man, s...
Read more