Life is what happens between two good days...

 No, really. Just think about it. There is a good day. And then life resumes its course. You get deeply involved in your work, swiping people left, right and centre on dating apps, doing your household chores, meeting a few friends every now and then, crying over an ex. Crying some more. And then, you make random plans to go to a heritage city with him. And then for those two days, life is back to being good. 

Why does it so happen with some people, it is so easy to pick up where you left from. I am too afraid to tell my friends I went on a road trip with him. They hate him for obvious reasons. He has become a dirty little secret of my life. But I loved playing badminton with him, loved watching him take a shower and dancing like it was nobody's business, loved how he protected me from the locusts, loved how he would get desserts for me from the buffet, loved how he lent me his t-shirt (which I am keeping btw), loved that he played terrible tabla on the table imitating my "Bang it Paaji" artist, loved his innocence on little things. I loved that he referred to me as Begum during our entire trip. Didn't feel like I was an ex. Loved how excited he got at the thought of an army invading a fort and made strategies with me to protect his kingdom (yeah, he was so enthusiastically making plans, I just couldn't help but smile :)).

Does he see it, how good we are together? For each other? But I want myself to snap out of it! It was a good weekend. Nothing more than that. Accept the good days without longing for more. Cause when we long for more, we tend to lose the essence of what we have already achieved. We undermine it. But it irks me to see how blind he is if he thinks he doesn't love me. Maybe he is too afraid to realise that he does. Imagine, people agree to spend their lives with someone who makes them feel a quarter of what they have with a special someone. Only because they seem like a safe option. Crazy humans!

I, on the other hand am grateful to god for these two days. Who knows if I will get two more days like this with him or not (I was not even prepared for this one), but what I am sure of is that every trip we have, I see the world a little bit more and I marvel at the things god made. Feels good to come out of my cubicle. To see what this beautiful world has to offer, if even for only two days. I will take it. 

I never knew what fun was until he came into my life. Even if it is make believe, I will take it and accept it with open arms. I don't have much to live for. My dream needs CPR, my future as a PhD student seems so distant, marriage is not on the cards. I do a regular 9-5 and I have lost my light. 

I don't know how many such 2 days I have in my life left, but I am grateful and blessed that I got it not once, but twice! 

Love (not expecting to be reciprocated),

Aaliyah



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