The good ones always come back!

 And no, I am not talking about men. I am talking about female friendships. Most of my 20s went in trying to find myself a good man. When we are born I feel, that we are assigned a number of tasks like - be good at studies, clear your board exams with flying colours (whatever that is supposed to mean), make your parents proud, do something good for the community, get a good job and try to do what you love, make meaningful friendships and be there for your friends when they need you and last but in no way the least - find yourself a good partner. 

I will be turning 32 this month and I can proudly say that I have accomplished most of what was assigned to me except for one - the meaningful friendships part. Don't get me wrong, I have a few really close friends, but I have also lost a few really close friends. Even if people decide to come back to you or you decide to extend an olive branch, are things ever the same? In my experience, I feel that some friendships once broken, convert into a cordial acquaintance. But this is not always the case, as sometimes you come back stronger and better than ever, more sensitive to each other's likes and dislikes. 

I am sulking cause I lost a good friend a year ago, and even though we patched things up, we are not the same. She is getting married soon and I am not a part of it. Rightfully so, why should I be. Haven't I done the same thing to a few of my friends when I was getting married. I chose to end communication with a few of them whom I thought would judge me and my husband for getting married within 6 months of meeting each other. I did not want anyone to rain on my parade. I wonder if people look at me like that now. My over smartness has come back to bite me in my ass! 

Female friendships are really important. Even though my husband is the person I am closest to in the universe, I still feel that I need someone to share things with, someone to cheer for me, someone to remind me of how far I have come, and that someone has to be a woman. 

That said, I feel blessed to have Tee back in my life. She sent me a heartfelt message after two years and just like that, it was all water under the bridge. So I should count my blessings. Feel happy that a few people do want me in their lives, even if others have moved on. I am just getting back what I did to others, so why sulk. 

I wish I was not so affected by all this. But it is just sad that people you were once so close to, now all you can do is make a heart on their happy pictures. That's life I guess. 

Love,

Aaliyah