The Full Stops...

There comes a point in every woman's life, when she stops looking for love. When she finally accepts defeat. When she becomes a bit too comfortable in the blanket of past memories that she sew for herself over the course of time. When she stops pining and whining. When she just accepts her fate for what it is. 

So what if every leading character in my story was resorted to a full stop and not an ellipsis. All my full stops did make me happy at one point of time. Actually, scratch that, they made me insanely happy. They gave me something to think about in my 30s. As I sat in my favourite corner of the house and sipped my tea, reminiscing about all the good, the bad and the ugly, I realised that at least I had something to cry about. Which goes to imply that I at least had something going well for me at one point, else why even bother remembering the unimportant stuff. That said, I felt that it's okay to be alone and lonely. I hate it when people say I'm alone but not lonely. I'd proudly say that I am alone and lonely but I'd still prefer my current state than being stuck with someone who treats me like I am replaceable. 

So when I'm alone and lonely, I still have myself to talk to and feel nostalgic about life. If you ask me, the last 5 years of my life went by rather quickly. I am not proud of all the things I did, but I did collect a few nice full stops along my way. But there's a catch here. You see, life is a movie, directed and produced by someone called God. I am merely a spectator. Well, I am also the protagonist (at least in my own motion picture), but God gets to decide who is a full stop, who an exclamation point, who's a comma and who an ellipsis. Just when I put a full stop, God smirks and says "Uh-huh! Not yet". But what he doesn't realise is that while the mind is agile, the heart is fragile. It can only take so much. It genuinely beats for one person at a time. Until that person decides to say - "Hey, I don't like the rhythm so much, I'm leaving". Poor heart does not even know what lies in the heart of the other person, but it still tries to beat its own rhythm to perfection. Only to be stifled again. And this continues. It's a wicked game, to say the least. They say that life has a series of lessons that I need to learn before I can graduate to the next level. What am I learning from these lessons? Are there any refresher courses? How do I know that I passed the test?

Well, there is just one way to know. Keep looking for an ellipsis. No matter how many full stops you find, the ellipsis is out there. Maybe he is someone else's full stop. But not yours.

Love (collecting full stops each year in order to cry like Iris from the Holiday in every holiday season),

Aaliyah 

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