My learnings at 31!

I recently came across an old video of Ed Sheeran where he said something so profound. He mentioned that Instagram is just a promotional tool and when people share their selfies, it is more of a need for validation. They want to hear people say - " Hey! You look amazing!". I kind of agreed with him. 

When I was single, I used to share so many photos. I used to desperately wait for the like of my crush(es) and for a view on my story. So much has changed after being married. I rarely feel the need to upload anything at all apart from beautiful trees and buildings across the UK. There is an easiness that I have developed with time and I am liking this phase. It is not that we don't take photos, we do! But I feel that I want to keep them to myself and not share it with the world. 

Back in India, I was always a part of an invisible race and I always seemed to lose. Lose in love. Lose in jobs. Despite giving it my best, it was never enough. But here, I feel fine. I feel good. I may not have everything, but I am happy knowing that whatever I have, is more than enough for the both of us. In my eyes, I have already won. So I am going to use this page today to write about some changes that I have observed in me over time. Maybe a few years down the line when I come back to this page, I can just smile at my wisdom and learn a thing or two from it :)  

1. Every place is beautiful  

Each one of us is surrounded by beauty. It can be in a beautiful mug of tea, or a tree with blossoming flowers, or a sunset or a lake by the woods. We do not have to spend a fortune on traveling to far off lands so that we can share pictures on Instagram with fancy hashtags. I always thought that I will travel all over the world and share pictures on social media to make people jealous. How naïve! It doesn't work like that. Travel for your peace of mind, travel as a traveller not as a tourist. Travel to gain experience (due credit to the movie A Tourist's Guide to Love on Netflix for showing me this). I learnt this when recently, I saw a friend of mine upload her throwback pictures to the same place the second I uploaded a few photos from my trip. It did kinda feel weird. It felt like an unsaid competition that Hey! I was there before you. I had so many more photos to share but I felt so withdrawn. Earth is so beautiful that there is something for all of us, everywhere, every day! Do not fall into the trap of me first. That was a petty thing to do on her part. I don't even know how to conclude on this point except for continuing to find beauty all around and capturing it irrespective of who sees it first. 

2. Relationships>> Job always! 

The people I love, they matter to me. And if there is a deadline, I will still be there for them. For me my husband and his happiness comes first. I have still not learnt to say that I come first because it doesn't work like that for me somehow. That said, several things are temporary in life, only few things are permanent. Learn to differentiate between the two. 

3. Be grateful on the good days and even more on the bad days!

This one is really hard. My mom asks me to do this but I find it almost impossible to find gratitude in my heart when I am down and out. But I recently read a quote which went like " Close your eyes and realize that you already have so much of what you were once praying for". Trust me, as hard as it feels to take a moment, it is important that for a second I become mindful of all that I have in this moment. Believe me, I once desperately prayed for it all and now that I have it, I have a new list ready. 

Sometimes we don't even realise that we got several of our prayers answered and we should just take a day off to cherish it all. So do exactly that. Once a month have a day called Cherish Day when you can just breathe and acknowledge that you have come so far. Acknowledge it, appreciate it, celebrate it! Your journey is beautiful today, no matter the ups and downs and it will be beautiful even tomorrow. They say that when a prayer gets answered it is god's direction and when it doesn't, it is god's protection. I tend to live by these words. 

I will keep on adding to this list with time. But as of now, these are the three things that I am trying to inculcate in my life. Easier said than done. I do feel wiser already! :) 

Got to love Monday's when you do nothing but contemplate! 

Love, 

Aaliyah

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