Because I am a " Too Much" Person

Have you ever been called " too intense" or " too invested " or " too clingy" or simply " too much" by anyone? Well, then this post is for you ( and for me too). Yesterday I met a friend for a cup of coffee. While I was telling her my story of how often people call me a " too much" person, I was pleasantly surprised that I was not alone. She too has been called a " too much" person on several occasions. So we got to thinking, what is it that guys mean when they call us " too much". Notice how I made it gender specific. This is because in my 27 years of being on this planet, not once has a girl called me " too much". Not once. And somehow, it is so easy for guys to just label us as " too much" and get away with it.

After a heart to heart session with her I decided to pen down what guys actually say to us and what are our intentions behind this. No, I am not overthinking. This is what self-actualization is supposed to feel like. Read on to find out if you're mentioned here. I for one, am omnipresent. You'll find a bit of me in all the points!

1. You're a bit too invested in us - Well yes, would you rather have me not? I am invested in us because clearly, in order to make this work, at least one of us has to be, right? Actually both of us have to be, but never mind. So I text you once a day to check up on you without ever expecting you to check up on me. So I call you once in two days to hear the sound of your voice because it makes me happy. So I share a meme with you on Instagram so that you can laugh about it amidst your " busy" schedule. Isn't this necessary? Or have people in today's time become so dependent on technology that emotions are a waste of time. Why don't they start dating Alexa then. Oh wait. Alexa has no boobs! Yes. My bad! I think Alexa too knows how to take a stand for herself when asked to do something indecent. She shuts off! But somewhere, we get so carried away thinking that awwwwwww! He is just having a bad day. It's okay if he is MIA. But then come to think of it, if you were in his place and he needed you and you were in a meeting, wouldn't you have at least tried to get back to him once you're done? But I guess it is just " too much" to ask for, isn't it? 
2. You're too much for me right now, I mean, you love me too much and we are clearly not on the same page - Such a crime, right? How did I let this happen? How did I even allow myself to feel something for you, because clearly, I should have been completely okay with a friends with benefits kind of a situation. And now that I am into you, that's a major problem. Much bigger than plastic choking our planet or global warming or mass killings, right? This, right here is what we need to avoid at all costs! Never ever allowing a woman to feel something for you other than keeping it simple with sex. I am not a psychologist, far from it. But I do understand one thing. There may be three reasons why people run away from love - one would be that they've been hurt in the past by someone so badly that the idea of moving on to another such experience literally gives them the jitters. Two, they feel that they are not worthy of this love and attention which indicates towards some major self worth issues that need soul searching. Three, is that they just want to have fun, no strings attached. The problem is that girls might never find out if it is the first reason, the second or the third or a combination of all of the above. But that said, what are guys so afraid of? We're survivors. All of us. We all have our own battles that we are fighting each day, every day. Let's fight them together and not with each other. Clearly, I still live in fool's paradise and this is not how the real world works. 
3. You deserve better - You know what, I do. I totally do. But I choose you. Cause I want to make it work. You're that " better" for me even if I am not that " better" for you. And who gets to decide what I want. It's me, right? So I choose this. I choose us. 

Keep in mind that all the points mentioned above come from people who have literally pursued me for months and months till I finally gave in. They made me fall for them and the minute I did, they just vanished. It's like something changed about them and how! How the tables have turned! That's why when something ends and you end up becoming a little nostalgic, you tend to ask yourself this- " how did this even happen"? And voila! They made this happen. You fell prey to a spell. It took me so many years to finally understand this - " It is the chase that men are fond of. It is the thrill of not having what they really want. And once they have it, they don't know how to cherish it". I don't mean to generalise this by saying that all men fall into this bracket. There are many of them out there who actually cherish what they have. It's just that they're already taken :P By the smart girls who knew who was a keeper and who wasn't. I am not blaming myself for being naive. I trust too easy. I love too easy. And it's not a sin if I wish to believe that the other person has my best intentions at heart.It's not a sin to think that the other person is capable of loving another human being other than himself. It's not a sin to think that everyone needs someone. Apparently, that's not how the world works. I might mean the world to someone in one moment only to be completely forgotten in the next. And yes, you have to learn to gulp down this ugly truth till someone comes along and " proves" that he is " too much" too. Then you both can be each other's " too much". In fact, you can finally become " Too much to handle" ;) 

Love,

Aaliyah

P.S. What seems too much in today's time is actually what a normal relationship is supposed to feel like. So the minute someone uses the words " too much", it's your cue to just hug that person, wish them all the best and leave graciously :) Hope this helps someone, somewhere :)