My Petrichor Pages

For the past two days, at least 3 people have reached out to me to join my school's alumni Whatsapp group. Just the thought of saying hi to those people again is so terrifying. Most of them were bullies, and I have mentioned this in one of my previous blogs. Why would I ever want to talk to them and give them another chance to mock me?  Trust me, if you think that people change, they don't! Some traits continue to remain the same. There is one more thing. I don't feel accomplished enough to join the group. I am just a PhD research scholar in a UK university. I am nothing fancy. I am the opposite of fancy.  I maintain a low profile. Most days I want to be invisible. Scratch that. I always want to be invisible. I am glad my husband is more confident than I am. We are a good balance of energies.  My husband had it easier in life. He was always good looking. But I am glad he was a good guy (at least according to his version) and did not bully others. So maybe for him, joining...

I wanted to pen this down cause this is all a part of my growing up process. I turned 32 last week and only a handful of people remembered to wish me. The earlier version of me would have been super upset at this. The new me is nothing but all smiles.  I learnt something very important this birthday. Your birthday is special only for a very few people. Especially when you decide not to put it up on Facebook or Instagram. I thought about it in detail and reached the conclusion that what good is a "Happy Birthday" from a person I barely spoke to throughout the year going to do for me? My husband and I spent the entire day in a peaceful (and rather large) cottage in Lake District. All I wanted to do the entire day was sit on a bench facing the water. I managed to do a lot of thinking. We saw the sunrise, the sunset and a full moon rise and also managed to spot a quarter of a rainbow in a clear sky, what more could I have asked for. I now feel that I am also not obligated to wish...

Instagram can make things really awkward without even realising. I am on my Birthday Trip and we are in Lake District. We will begin exploring the lakes and the towns tomorrow. I have a habit of staying up till at least 1 am. My husband is fast asleep though. Got bored, so I began scrolling on Insta. Lo and behold, it decided to show me a reel of my first boyfriend's now ex-girlfriend. She is a travel blogger and is excellent at her job. I remember back in 2015, all I could do was be so jealous of her. When he told me that he had met someone and was dumping me, all I could do was compare, compare and compare. The comparison had become so toxic at a point that I felt that I had started losing myself.  And today, as I am on my way to turn 32, I checked her profile and I was indifferent. Her followers rose from 5k to 83k in the last few years and I like her content. I never thought I'd ever be mature enough to say this but I really don't care anymore.  I have a gorgeous man, s...

 And no, I am not talking about men. I am talking about female friendships. Most of my 20s went in trying to find myself a good man. When we are born I feel, that we are assigned a number of tasks like - be good at studies, clear your board exams with flying colours (whatever that is supposed to mean), make your parents proud, do something good for the community, get a good job and try to do what you love, make meaningful friendships and be there for your friends when they need you and last but in no way the least - find yourself a good partner.  I will be turning 32 this month and I can proudly say that I have accomplished most of what was assigned to me except for one - the meaningful friendships part. Don't get me wrong, I have a few really close friends, but I have also lost a few really close friends. Even if people decide to come back to you or you decide to extend an olive branch, are things ever the same? In my experience, I feel that some friendships once broken, conv...