My Petrichor Pages

The last two days have been difficult. And confusing too. We lost Irrfan Khan yesterday and Rishi Kapoor today. I was a big fan of both of them. I was teary eyed yesterday. Felt like someone known had died. Felt like Irrfan had been a part of my circle, my mom's circle, my dad's circle, my boss's circle too. He was a part of everyone's circle. Felt like I lost a friend. His humility, his genuineness, his modesty, his down-to-earth demeanor, there was just so much to learn from him. But what really gets to me is the fact that we all choose to celebrate life of that person, only when he leaves. Why not today and everyday? Why does it take death of a person for all of us to make them feel special? Why wasn't their life enough? I doubt if Irrfan might be going through his Instagram page right now, while he is in heaven, wondering if that's how many people really loved him. In his head, before he died, he would have had a figure, say x, about the number of people ...

The universe conspires to bring two hearts together at the right time . Notice how I put the right time in bold. Cause I never believed in it till it happened with me. Back in 2014, I made a friend in Bristol. Initially, she came across as someone who was a bit cold. I used to maintain my distance from her cause I am way too warm and bubbly and I was a bit unsure about her feelings towards me. But then something happened. Our worlds collided. And it felt like I was looking at someone who was way more emotional than me. Her ice cold front was a way for her to protect her heart. If life were a movie, she'd be like, oh wait! Nope. She is way too unique to be put into one character. Maybe bits and pieces from here and there, but not a single character can embody all her craziness and love and warmth. Then as it happens in all the great love stories, we drifted apart. For four years, I did not reach out to her. I did miss her in silos. It's not like I was too proud to reach out...

Remember the theme song of the Powerpuff Girls show. Wait, I'll help! Sugar, spice, and everything nice These were the ingredients chosen To create the perfect little girls But Professor Utonium accidentally Added an extra ingredients to the concoction-- Chemical X Thus, the Powerpuff Girls were born Using their ultra-super powers Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup Have dedicated their lives to fighting crime And the forces of evil I came across something similar when I was reading my book - The Forty Rules of Love. The writer asks the protagonist - "What ingredients do you think you are putting in the collective stew of humanity? ".  Recently, I have been practising something. When someone begins to bug me, I ask myself- Are they adding any value to my life?  If they are not, then I ask myself - who gave them the power to hurt me so much if they bring absolutely nothing to the table? However, today I felt differently. I asked myself- What ...

Spring time it is! And boy, am I blooming. Well, exaggerating, as usual. But I am grateful. I realised that the past couple of months I have been sad and gloomy for a few things which were not in my hand. While I was busy sulking, I failed to realise a lot of life was happening parallely, urging me to stop, breathe, take notice. Self-absorbed, I ignored most of it. Took it for granted. Kept drowning in my misery. But really, unrequited love is not misery. Far from it. I don't dedicate this blog to him. He has had enough footage already. Plus, he doesn't care. It's me who has to learn to stop caring (which I will, eventually). So basically, today, as our PM decided to extend the lockdown by 19 more days, I heaved a sigh of relief. I guess I am the only one who is happy staying indoors. I actually don't mind it so much. I love spending time with myself. Most of the times, I have something or the other to do. Baking, cooking, cleaning, journaling, reading, working out,...

It's been a 100 days, but who's counting. Remember the last time I met you. Rather, I left. The memory is so blurred now, I don't even remember if I gave you a side hug or not. It's been a 100 days now. A 100 days of detoxification. A 100 days of not hearing from you. A 100 days of not writing to you. A 100 days of sleepless nights when I can't fall asleep without imagining you holding me. As this world cries and dies bit by bit because of COVID-19, I feel it's a privilege to cry because of you. To cry for you. I am so blessed that I have not contracted this virus. Privileged that I am not carrying the grief of losing someone because of it. Last year it was Hepatitis for me, this year it's Corona for all. Amidst this chaos, I am dying to know if you're okay. Are you? Okay? Healthy?Happy? Content? In love? With her? Again? Miss me? Not yet? Will you? Ever? I am finally at a stage in life wherein I have accepted that I will always be in love with you....